I find myself kind of trudging through lately. There is so much baggage on this journey for such a simple wish. I just want our family in tact. I am so eager for that day. But these past few days the wait seems excruciating, as it tends to feel every few months.
Looking at other people's referral pictures is not an intelligent way to pass the time when I am yearning for our kids. I feel a slight jealously even while I am exhilarated for these families. When will it be our turn?
Thank God we have these two beautiful girls with us to ease the wait. They are making lots of cards and pictures lately for their "new brothers and sisters" which is how we refer to them because we don't know if it will be 2 girls, 2 boys or one of each. My oldest has decided that the next toy that she earns from her bug chart (a good behaviour chart we use for the girls, which rewards them with toys - simply put, we bribe our kids to be good!) will be for her new brothers or sisters. They are vivid in their minds. And they are sharing with them already!
I can't imagine what a childless couple must feel on this journey. Those couples who don't have children to distract them from this long hard road. To not have someone to love and care for through this wait must be all consuming.
I have never experienced true yearning for a child. I got pregnant so easily that I didn't have time to really ache for them. Sure I was impatient during the pregnancy, but I had that. They were right there growing under my heart. Safe. I had control over so many things. It didn't feel like it does now. My heart is stretched all the way to Ethiopia. And it hurts!
But the only way out is through. I know that this marathon will be worth its rewards. I will understand the wait when we know who our children will be. I will look back and say, ah, that's why. One look at our new family and it will make sense. We will see it was all part of the plan and then this wait will disappear.
But in the meantime, we'll keep going. Left foot, now right foot. And we'll find that perhaps this is the preparation our heart needs. So it will be fit for the new journey that lies ahead.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
BBC News Article - UN 'runs out of aid for Ethiopia'
UN 'runs out of aid for Ethiopia'
Ethiopian residents receive a sack of food aid at a distribution centre
Rations have already been cut by a third since July last year
The UN has warned that it has run out of food to provide for nine million Ethiopians who rely on its assistance.
A UN spokesman told the BBC the port of Djibouti was seriously congested and there was little prospect of supplies arriving for the next five months.
Following a border war, Ethiopia does not use Eritrean ports and the landlocked country relies on Djibouti.
However, Ethiopia's ambassador to the UK has denied that his country is facing a food crisis.
Berhanu Kebede told the BBC's World Today programme that food was being transported by truck from Sudan.
Correspondents say this time of year is known as "the hunger season", three months before the next harvest.
The UN World Food Programme says breast-feeding mothers, children and refugees will be among those worst hit.
FROM BBC WORLD SERVICE
More from BBC World Service
It warns after it hands out final rations this month there will be no further deliveries until September or October.
The agency says it has no option but to cut back on the food they provide, which has already been cut by a third since July 2008.
"We have a small refugee population here and their ration is being cut by half beginning this month. We run out of food and people will be very hungry," WFP's Barry Came told the BBC.
BBC Africa analyst Martin Plaut says in the jargon of the aid agencies, the food pipeline has ruptured.
The port of Djibouti is full to overflowing and the Ethiopian government has prioritised the delivery of fertiliser, to try to increase the next harvest.
But even when the grain gets through, the WFP says there is an acute shortage of trucks, with the Ethiopian authorities preventing the agency from bringing in its own fleet from Sudan.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8103355.stm
Ethiopian residents receive a sack of food aid at a distribution centre
Rations have already been cut by a third since July last year
The UN has warned that it has run out of food to provide for nine million Ethiopians who rely on its assistance.
A UN spokesman told the BBC the port of Djibouti was seriously congested and there was little prospect of supplies arriving for the next five months.
Following a border war, Ethiopia does not use Eritrean ports and the landlocked country relies on Djibouti.
However, Ethiopia's ambassador to the UK has denied that his country is facing a food crisis.
Berhanu Kebede told the BBC's World Today programme that food was being transported by truck from Sudan.
Correspondents say this time of year is known as "the hunger season", three months before the next harvest.
The UN World Food Programme says breast-feeding mothers, children and refugees will be among those worst hit.
FROM BBC WORLD SERVICE
More from BBC World Service
It warns after it hands out final rations this month there will be no further deliveries until September or October.
The agency says it has no option but to cut back on the food they provide, which has already been cut by a third since July 2008.
"We have a small refugee population here and their ration is being cut by half beginning this month. We run out of food and people will be very hungry," WFP's Barry Came told the BBC.
BBC Africa analyst Martin Plaut says in the jargon of the aid agencies, the food pipeline has ruptured.
The port of Djibouti is full to overflowing and the Ethiopian government has prioritised the delivery of fertiliser, to try to increase the next harvest.
But even when the grain gets through, the WFP says there is an acute shortage of trucks, with the Ethiopian authorities preventing the agency from bringing in its own fleet from Sudan.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8103355.stm
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Family field trip to Rainbow's End Day Farm
It has been awhile since I have posted so now I am playing catch up!
I wanted to post some pictures of a fun field trip that I took the girls on with a group of homeschooler's. We went to a day farm called "Rainbow's End" and, as you can see by the pics, both of them had a blast! Lol check out the goat sticking its tongue out at Sugarbear...
We did a scavenger hunt, had a wagon ride, a fire roasted weiner and marshmallow lunch, and lots of animals and discovery.
On the way there all D could talk about was holding baby chicks, and we were very pleasantly surprised to find that and much more. Plus a new friend of mine was there so it was really nice to visit and have her and her kids to share the day with.
Once again, here's the photo diary:
I wanted to post some pictures of a fun field trip that I took the girls on with a group of homeschooler's. We went to a day farm called "Rainbow's End" and, as you can see by the pics, both of them had a blast! Lol check out the goat sticking its tongue out at Sugarbear...
We did a scavenger hunt, had a wagon ride, a fire roasted weiner and marshmallow lunch, and lots of animals and discovery.
On the way there all D could talk about was holding baby chicks, and we were very pleasantly surprised to find that and much more. Plus a new friend of mine was there so it was really nice to visit and have her and her kids to share the day with.
Once again, here's the photo diary:
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
adopting stereotypes
If I hear a reference to Angelina Jolie in regards to adoption one more time I think I am going to scream! And unfortunately for me this comes up often because we are adopting from Ethiopia, so I think I am going to have a very hoarse voice. Often it is mentioned in passing and not ill-intentioned, but it is the other times (usually in the media or the public remarks after an online article) when there is a negative connotation that just makes me squirm. So instead maybe I will save my vocal chords and rant a little.
People don't adopt because it's "in style" or because it's what some high profile celebrities are doing. Anyone who makes that statement has obviously never seriously considered or researched adoption. The life changing decision, research, education, homestudy, the GOVERNMENT APPROVAL for a start, would obviously weed out any star struck wannabe who considered restructuring their ENTIRE life to make room for another child.
I am only just beginning to cope with the idea that our family decision to adopt, and the long journey of research and soul searching that accompanied it, can and will be met with flippant remarks and occasionally assumed to be a frivolous decision. Anyone who has any knowledge of adoption whatsoever would never assume that this is a decision to be taken lightly.
I cringe whenever I hear someone's has pre-conceived notions about adoption or when they have the perception that adoption is "in". I detest that due to our family structure, people will make assumptions about us. Stereotypes are everywhere, even international adoption cannot escape it. I wince at the thought that some members of the public might actually think that people who choose to adopt internationally do so with a narcissistic agenda. Over and above that, that someone might possibly see the cost of the adoption, or fact that "everyone is doing it", as valid reason not to do it. These children need MORE people to do it. They need families WILLING to take a chance on them. And I understand that international adoption is expensive, but it is not out of reach. There are grants, there are loans, there is fundraising. This is a very viable way to have children that is not out of reach for anyone who is committed enough to take it on.
Our society needs to elevate its thinking and lift ourselves out of the narrow halls of our closed minds. Like I have said before, I wish adoption was not unique. I wish that there were so many people that did it that no one raised an eyebrow or thought it to be different. This is not a fashion trend. This is not a whim. These are people's lives.
This adoption was an even bigger decision than the choice itself to have a larger family. This one carried so much more weight. The challenges. The obstacles. The ignorant remarks. THIS is commitment. And I say that having bore two children already. Those two girls already look like me. I don't have to explain them to anybody. Our kids are not even home yet, we don't even know who they are, and I still have to learn to fight the lack of awareness. To respond responsibly to lack of education. To be nice. To educate. I am discovering my developing patience. I am willing myself not to be ignorant back. To share my joy and knowledge so that when I walk away a seed will be planted that will perpetuate the valid reasons that many walk this path to a child. And not the weeds of gossip and stereotype that unfortunately have a tendency to grow much faster.
People don't adopt because it's "in style" or because it's what some high profile celebrities are doing. Anyone who makes that statement has obviously never seriously considered or researched adoption. The life changing decision, research, education, homestudy, the GOVERNMENT APPROVAL for a start, would obviously weed out any star struck wannabe who considered restructuring their ENTIRE life to make room for another child.
I am only just beginning to cope with the idea that our family decision to adopt, and the long journey of research and soul searching that accompanied it, can and will be met with flippant remarks and occasionally assumed to be a frivolous decision. Anyone who has any knowledge of adoption whatsoever would never assume that this is a decision to be taken lightly.
I cringe whenever I hear someone's has pre-conceived notions about adoption or when they have the perception that adoption is "in". I detest that due to our family structure, people will make assumptions about us. Stereotypes are everywhere, even international adoption cannot escape it. I wince at the thought that some members of the public might actually think that people who choose to adopt internationally do so with a narcissistic agenda. Over and above that, that someone might possibly see the cost of the adoption, or fact that "everyone is doing it", as valid reason not to do it. These children need MORE people to do it. They need families WILLING to take a chance on them. And I understand that international adoption is expensive, but it is not out of reach. There are grants, there are loans, there is fundraising. This is a very viable way to have children that is not out of reach for anyone who is committed enough to take it on.
Our society needs to elevate its thinking and lift ourselves out of the narrow halls of our closed minds. Like I have said before, I wish adoption was not unique. I wish that there were so many people that did it that no one raised an eyebrow or thought it to be different. This is not a fashion trend. This is not a whim. These are people's lives.
This adoption was an even bigger decision than the choice itself to have a larger family. This one carried so much more weight. The challenges. The obstacles. The ignorant remarks. THIS is commitment. And I say that having bore two children already. Those two girls already look like me. I don't have to explain them to anybody. Our kids are not even home yet, we don't even know who they are, and I still have to learn to fight the lack of awareness. To respond responsibly to lack of education. To be nice. To educate. I am discovering my developing patience. I am willing myself not to be ignorant back. To share my joy and knowledge so that when I walk away a seed will be planted that will perpetuate the valid reasons that many walk this path to a child. And not the weeds of gossip and stereotype that unfortunately have a tendency to grow much faster.
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