The Toddler’s Craft 
by Tammy

With this flawed language I struggle to tell You that I love You…

I clumsily search for the right order and selection of letters that I can string together, weaving a silly toddler’s craft…a homemade beaded necklace that I mean to be diamonds and gold, hopelessly turning my emotion into verbs and nouns that will never adequately convey the message my heart wants You to understand.

How could I possibly share the true depth and spirit of my love for You with mere words?

And yet…

and yet…

When I drift off to sleep, my body and mind releasing control…submitting to the gulf of unconsciousness,

my last vision is You.

As I slowly return to the awareness of this dimension,

You are my first lucid thought.

I awake, and discover that despite the abyss,

You have stood steadfast by me through the night, occupying my dreams.

When sadness or strife creeps in...

it is You I crave.

Your comfort. It is the deep cadence of Your voice that I need to soothe my soul…

Your arms I want to rock away my grief.

When I am struck by something beautiful, something beyond me that renders me speechless,

I reach for You to join me in awe.

The pointless randomness of life is no longer pointless or random.

You are the reason for everything.

You. It has always been You.

Forever it will be You.

You are the fabric of my being.

The song of my soul.

You are somehow, impossibly, the matter of my cells…

You are my heart.

How I lived without You will remain my personal unanswered mystery…

How will I overcome my utter disbelief that I could be so lucky to be loved by You, found by You? This will forever be my grand challenge.

That I will never breathe again without inhaling the pure bliss with which You surround me will be my eternal gift from You.

You. My essence. The nature of my being.